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October 27th, 2015
New Political Creature Found On the 2015 Presidential Campaign Trail
By Dale Roethlisberger

Many have concluded that dinosaurs went extinct around 65 million years ago. Recently, it has become apparent that one obscure species has survived and it is tearing up the Presidential nominations process. That’s entirely ‘right’, a dinosaur species named T Rump - Tyranosauris Rump (i.e. terrible lizard butt) has been snarling and slashing all manner of hopeful Presidential critters, even trying to eat its own young. T Rump is dangerous. Once let loose, it will devour everything like a greedy dragon coveting and protecting stolen treasures. T Rump claims citizenship, but we all know it hatched from an antediluvian egg and there never will be a birth certificate. If T Rump attains ‘king of the hill’ status, there will be no immigration problem as no one will want to come anymore. Even worse, everyone already here may consider leaving too.

March 19th, 2008
Bus Route Efficiencies Set To Improve
By Jeffrey Goodman

Responding to rider complaints about buses missing the notoriously short lights of Washington DC, the DC Metro is looking to use a newly developed transponder to help the system move more efficiently. Though currently installed on a select number of express buses, DDOT hopes to expand the technology to its entire fleet in the coming years.

Unlike the more common infrared emitters used by police cars and ambulances, the DC system will not automatically change red lights to green, but instead hold green lights several seconds to allow buses to pass. This allows buses to stop once, shortening travel times up to twenty percent along an entire line. As more receivers are installed in the District, more lines will adopt the new technology.

While the media focuses on the big changes in technology that will revolutionize transportation, in the real world small scale adjustments can make profound differences in the way we live. Little boxes filled with wires may ultimately do more for the environment than all the unfulfilled talk about exotic solutions that remain castles in the sky.

February 20th, 2008
Dems Dream Dance Dilemma
By Dale Roethlisberger

Because it’s a close race between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton for the Presidential nomination of the Democratic Party, don’t expect that people will unite around the eventual nominee. At this point, there will likely be a residue of lost support within the Democrats for either candidate. Perhaps this will occur because of how long the contest has gone on, or how damaging to both candidates the contest becomes by final nomination time. More likely, this protracted nomination contest is allowing the Republicans to consolidate their campaign strengths and solidify their negative positions on the opposition.

Aside from the ‘historic’ nature of both Democratic candidates, whether it’s a woman or an African American, the Republicans will naturally find a way to employ either of these factors in a detracting manner to the oppostition candidate. The ‘glass ceiling’ is not totally broken and racism is not dead in America. Both Democratic candidates represent a departure from the past, and it will be posited that we do not need this kind of change for the purposes of change only. Already we see both Democrats stressing the hope aspect that change is supposed to represent. However, the Republicans, in their usual politics of fear, will trump hope and demonstrate that just a change in direction is nothing more than pure hope without all the necessary precedent to really make progress in government happen.

The politics of fear that we are governmentally headed into uncharted waters at a minimum creates voter doubts. The potential exists for a real Democratic voter dilemma. The fear of the unknown preys on your mind while the hope supposedly raises the heart. In the end, if you can make a case for a voter’s heart and mind to be of two different persuasions, therein lies the dilemma.

January 28th, 2008
Washington, DC Is a Live Music Listener’s Paradise
By Dale Roethlisberger

A lot of cities in the USA have countless auditoriums, bars, clubs, and restaurants where one can find live performance music. Of course, many establishments charge an admission, or have a cover charge when musicians perform. The District of Columbia and the surrounding area has many opportunities for listening to live music performance for free. Perhaps this situation is a result of proximity to our national government and ‘earmark’ funding for special interests, but we don’t think so.

For example, every spring the Folklore Society of Greater Washington sponsors a Folk Festival that is entirely free to attend. It is usually a cornicopia of just about every music style one can imagine. Some of the musicians and singers are unique to this area and you cannot hear them anywhere else. The Washington, DC metropolitan area also claims to be the ‘home’ of bluegrass music. Other cities have staked claims to music styles like New Orleans with its Jazz, and Nashville with its Country music. We believe the Washington, DC claim to ‘bluegrass’ music is a strong one.  Read the rest of this entry »

June 26th, 2006
Flag Burning Constitutional Amendment Again?
By Dale Roethlisberger

Whenever the ‘conservatives’ run out of issue’s gas or have a need to obfuscate other pressing national political concerns, they bring up the idea of a Constitutional Amendment about desecration of our Nation’s Flag. ‘Liberals’ generally try to ignore these attemps as irrelevant. We think this is a mistake. Why not take this silly issue off the playing field once and for all. If the amendment were structured properly it should satisfy the overwhelming majority. Futhermore, it would actually have a chance of becoming Constitutional Law. Read the rest of this entry »

June 24th, 2006
The Capital Beltway, A Likely Pre Al Qaeda Terrorist Plot
By Dale Roethlisberger

In some circles it is known as the ‘Bloatway’. We’re talking about that section of Interstate 95/495 that encircles our nation’s capital. This highway was either designed by madmen, or deep in the psyche of those designers lurked proto ‘Al Qaeda’ terrorist tendencies. Certainly, since its completion, this highway, in overall magnitude, has killed enough people to be on par with the ‘World Trade Center’ attacks on our Nation. We are forced to conclude that the beltway brings out the worst in driving behavior. ‘Road rage’ can’t begin to describe what we have seen occur in our travels on this stretch of the Interstate system. Yes, we ascribe devious intent to those designers who participated in this project from its inception.

Take the major ongoing ‘improvement’ now taking place in the Springfield, VA area referred to by the media as the ‘mixing bowl’. Here we have the rejoining of the east and west loops and I-395, all converging together to head south. From a design point of view, this plan can only be characterized as ‘voodoo’ or ‘mumbo jumbo’ and so far it’s taken years with additional years to go until completion. We suggest a moniker change, it should be referred to as the ‘mosh pit’ instead of the ‘mixing bowl’. Read the rest of this entry »

June 9th, 2006
Congress-critters Beware! There’s a New Mudslinger in Town
By Dale Roethlisberger

We are not about journalism. On the other hand, we are not purveyors of wanton disrespect or slander either. We are attempting to balance on the knife’s edge between the important and the banal. We walk a thin line where on one side lies seriousness and the other side lies silliness.

We hope to attract writer’s that don’t care about the ‘box’ so they have no problem thinking inside or outside of it. Remembering the adage about the oldest profession, we want people to ‘prostitute’ their minds. This leads to the second oldest profession of ‘pimping’ and the “Washingtongue” will be there to assist you in pimping your prostituted minds.

Finally, the third oldest profession has to be ‘politics’. As soon as Adam and Eve had their first difference of opinion, politics was born. They must have had the future Washington, DC in mind, a place where minds are prostituted, pimped, and politicized to the fullest extent possible. We just want to join in on this endless public performance that regularly occurs in our Nation’s Capital. Maybe you will come along and play too.